Pronouncing Unique Names

Most people love the sound of their own name. As a child, it’s one of the early sounds we learn to recognize, and respond to. Hearing it, reminds us that we are with people who know us, and acknowledge us. Calling someone by their name also makes us feel connected to them.

In increasingly diverse settings, it’s become quite common to encounter people whose name we might find difficult to pronounce. As a person with a unique name, I also anticipate and empathize with others having trouble pronouncing my name. I’m sure people with less common names feel similarly.

Here are some simple strategies to make these unique interactions easier and more rewarding:

Pronouncing Unique Names — Dos and Don’ts

If you have a less common name:

Do:

• Make it easy: Introduce yourself with a helpful mnemonic to remember your name. Tell them what it sounds like, or break it up into parts. Eg. Govind sounds like Goh-WIND
• Remind: If it’s someone you regularly meet or work with, do correct them (either immediately, or later in a private conversation). It might be awkward for a very short time, but chances are they’ll be more upset if they realize they were the only ones who called you Wilbur instead of Walter for a year.
• Compromise: Make tradeoffs with letters that don’t exist in other languages — accept the closest sound as a substitute. Examples of letters/sounds missing in English: ‘Kh’ (/kʰ/) from Urdu, ‘C’ (/ts/) in Czech, ‘X’ (/ʃ/) in Chinese

Don’t:

• Be offended: Try not to take it personally if someone mispronounces your name. They may not have heard it before, or they may have assumed a letter in the name was said differently.
• Be passive aggressive: They may not hear the difference in how they say it and how you say it. So instead of making passive aggressive comments, be upfront and gently guide them.
• Feel obligated: Your name is part of your identity and your culture. You are not obligated to change it to suit someone else.

If you encounter someone with a less common name:

Do:

• Clarify: Pause and ask them to slowly pronounce their name for you.
• Acknowledge: After saying their name, follow up with “I hope I pronounced that correctly”. If required, make a quick apology and move on.
• Research: Find a resource who can help direct you to the correct pronunciation. There are plenty available online. This is especially helpful before a more formal interaction. Just google “How to pronounce ____” and many results will show up.

Don’t:

• Ignore them: You might be afraid of calling on them because you’re afraid to say the wrong name, but ignoring them is a worse offense. Everyone likes to feel included.
• Make up a name: Wait for them to tell you a preferred nickname, don’t invent one for them. Do not assume Shaniq prefers to just be called “Sh”
• Mispronounce on purpose: Continuing to mispronounce someone’s name after you’ve been corrected, is never a good idea — even if you’re just doing it to be consistent with all the other people mispronouncing their name

Learning a new name and teaching someone a new name should be a source of joy, and a way for us to accept diversity and make connections that expand our worldview. The world would be a lot more familiar and easier to get along with, if we worked on this one extra thing to help us connect :)